well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
