he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
