I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
