Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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