508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
