lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
