it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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