Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize