My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
