I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
