its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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