So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
