She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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