You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
