Don't make out with my wife yet
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
