she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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