arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
