id be glad to
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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