Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
