Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
