He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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