the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You were trust falling into bushes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
