happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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