i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nicole vs. Life
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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