i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need a beard to bite.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
