Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
