Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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