Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the raccoons are back...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
