can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
