OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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