Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i out mim tonsoeep
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