He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
