lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
