so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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