Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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