I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
