And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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