Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
