hotel room ftw
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
