Will you blow on my dice?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
