are you so shy because you have an std?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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