Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
