Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
