He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
