4 words: hood of his car
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
