i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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