"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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