Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
