I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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