you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
