If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
