I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
