i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
