everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
