dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
