Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
