I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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