I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't motorboat a personality
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
