I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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