Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
