Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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