I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize