he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
