i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What a dumb baby whore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
