You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
