I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
