Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
