At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize