I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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