I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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